Harry Potter: The Next Generation

Set in 2018, the 3 Wizarding schools Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, & Durmstrang face a new threat: Augustus Rookwood Jr. son of the last Death Eater Augustus Rookwood.
 
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 What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)

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Austin Tyler
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PostSubject: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Thu May 29, 2014 9:09 pm

Austin had challenged his brother to wake up and beat him in a friendly brotherly competition. He seemed to somewhat but would it be in time? He was already feeling like he may be the one setting himself up to lose in this battle of romance between brothers. The more time he spent with Talon the more he wished she wasn't Joseph's soulmate. The more he wished to piss off the spirits and win against his OWN BROTHER! Whenever he though of Talon his heart raced and he didn't get why. He enjoyed being touched by her and he hated others touching him unexpectedly. More and more he wanted to beat his brother...even though Joseph seemed to be showing it more and more and he knew he'd lose. For some reason...he wanted to win but the whole reason he challenged Joseph was so he'd stop pussy footing around and show Talon he knew she was his soulmate. Now he wanted to keep her too...but he couldn't.


He knew this but for some reason...he no longer wanted Joseph to win anymore. So he'd sent Liza an owl. He paced back and forth. Lighting up a funny cigarette. "There is something f**ked up with me! This is wrong. I started this for Talon and Joseph's benefit...I shouldn't keep this up. What is wrong with me that now I'm competing hardcore against Joseph?!" He demanded the air. Inhaling the smoke. He was a fucked up thats why!

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Liza Saline

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:41 pm

Liza had been downstairs in the shop when she got the message from Austin and she sighed a little. She knew what this was about and she felt bad for Austin.  She had been trying to stay neutral in all of this, but sometimes it was not easy. Walking upstairs she could not help but sigh when she heard Austin and immediately walked over to her fridge and poured herself a glass of blood wine.

"It is not the first time someone has fallen in love with someone else's someone."  Liza sat as she kicked off her heels and went and sat down on the couch waving her hand and changing into a pair of jeans and a nice red blouse.  "Tell me why it is so wrong, maybe Talon likes you too.  Maybe she is torn too."
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Austin Tyler
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:25 pm

Austin looked at her. Watching her until she sat down then pounced to sit in her lap. Straddling her as he hid his face. "Fallen in love? What the f**k is that? I've never fallen in love." He said softly. "So its a first for me." he muttered. Laying his head in her chest and grumbles a bit. Lifting his head and with a serious look before he caught the funny cig and turned sideways to inhale half of it then blow it out.


"Because it will kill Joseph and not because of soulmates but because the spirits are only altering his future...for Talon's sake." He said bluntly and with dead seriousness out of the silence.


"Now that he being serious and showing her he cares. Romancing her and letting her in...if I win...Joseph will die. I already saw it...fought the damn ancestors...won't change it. Yet still for some reason...I don't care. You say its love? Then I say that just makes me a monster...I want to win knowing damn well Talon wouldn't be happy long term. She is the type of girl who would want pups...I can't give her pups." He blew out his smoke.


"Even more so...Joseph will die if I win now that he is going serious. He was set to die in a great war coming up anyways. Nearly die and be in a coma prior to it saving the queen's line and destroying a great foe on the sea." He inhaled the funny cig more and dblew out the smoke. Getting high off the mixture he made so he could. "I hope so." He said. Flushing. "Wrong as it is...I hope she likes me. I really like her. Don't mind her touching either even if I don't initiate it. I'm not big on people touching less I initiate it."

He snuggled in more. "It is wrong because the spirits have stated now that Joseph's getting serious...he and Talon are an item. Before she had other options. They want them to be together. I already know...if I win Talon over Joseph...they've set a brutal way for him to die. A way to keep me from doing it...yet this is why I want to know what the fucks wrong with me Liza...I love my brother and even knowing what  Ido...I still want to win Talon from him." He shook his head a bit. "Even knowing it means White Hawk would die or nearly so...endings alternatable...I still want to win the girl. Somethings wrong with me...knowing what I know and not wanting to lose still."

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Liza Saline

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:29 am

Liza could not believe that Austin was willing leaning against her, but she was going to take everything she could get.  She found herself rubbing his back as he laid his head on her chest.  “Well you’re not the only one who is in love with someone they are not meant to have.”
 

Liza thought listened to Austin talk about what he knew about the relationship between Talon and Joseph and just continued to rub his back.  Liza understood all too well how it felt to love someone and wanted to be with them at all costs, but knowing that.  “Austin I am in love with a man and know that he is in love with me.  We both know that we are not meant to be.”  Liza sighed as she thought of the moment that she was able to have with him.  “We know that both of us would not survive without your brother in our lives.  We will be happy with the ones that we are supposed to be with.  We can both still love the others.”
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Sat Jun 07, 2014 9:09 pm

Austin looked at her. Grumbing a bit as she spoke. Leaning back as he finished the funny cigarette and tossed it into the air. His spirit guide making it erupt into white mists. He held the smoke he inhaled in before blowing it out in a slow long trail. "Difference is you are willing to let him go." He stated simply. He listened to her. "Yeah. yeah." He stated flatly.



"Difference is you are both willing to go where the fates tell you. I'm willing to tell them F**k you! I already have to deal with the bullshit you make me grow from but alternating endings aren't easy to achieve so I gotta just grow strong while you show me shit I can't change. This time I don't want to just take it. Screwed me over as it was...they won't be deciding who my lifetime mate, if  Iever take one, will be. F**k that shit." He said rebelliously. Growling loudly. Sighing a bit and sank back into her more. Grumbling a bit. "Again..I don't care...I wanna win the girl. You have someone you want to be with it. You should...Nathaniel is a good match for you. Cute kid too. Talon...is who I want." he said with a growl.

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:53 am

Liza sighed as she listened to Austin talk about what she was willing to do with Joseph, even though she was unsure if Austin knew it was Joseph she was talking about.  “I am not so sure about the willing part.”  Liza sighed a little more, but held Austin close to her while he talked.  “We both want to be together Austin, just ask him sometime.  We both know that in the end neither one of us will be happy in the end.”  Liza sighed thinking about their conversation.  “Well he would do anything to make me happy but we would end up miserable.” 
 

Liza knew that Austin was pissed at the spirits and she could understand that,  “I know that Nathaniel and Starla are a perfect addition in my life, but that doesn't mean that was what I wanted when this life started out.  Hell I didn’t want to be a vampire either, but look at me now.”  Liza stated.  “So tell what is it about Talon that makes you want her so bad?  Because I know you well enough its not to just win against your brother, there are feelings there.”
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Mon Jun 09, 2014 5:43 pm

Austin looked at her as she spoke. "Joseph right?" He said bluntly. "Didn't read your mind but your reactions." He said simply. "You gave him up...after a night to remember. Was it good?" He asked bluntly. Looking at her. "Yeah...sounds like Joseph...probably the hardest thing for him to do outside trying to protect Talon and screwing up. Typical dumbass straight boy." he said with a spat.

"I know he does...he used to talk about you all the time. Ever since I was little. He'd look so alive and animated. Flush at times when he spoke on how you were doing or growing. I knew for a long time he was madly in love with you....but he would be happiest just at your side as a wolf or guide or protector. He is the type to sacrifice his heart for others."


He said with a shrug. "In that aspect...I suppose I am weaker than him...outside of the inner circle. Unlike him...I can't sacrifice my heart for him. Nor this feeling of being alive outside of the pain." He said bluntly. A single tear trailed down his cheek. "I can't even for Talon...not fully. Or I'd have given up already. Or lost with epic style and badassery." He said. "In that way Joseph is stronger than I will ever be. I can't sacrifice my heart for Joseph, even knowing what I know, nor for Talon...knowing long term she'd be unhappy." He didn't even wipe the single tear that escaped away.


"I feel so alive even feeling dead and hollow...I want to desperately cling to the feeling of life Talon gives me. It is selfish but I can't be strong enough to sacrifice my heart for her or Joseph...maybe Talon if she showed more interest in Joseph...but...I can't for Joseph. Even knowing I could be the reason he dies...I can't." He said. unhappily. Glad for when subject changed.


"No it wasn't but I bet he is the same way even if he hasn't realized it yet." He looked at her. "Look at you now what? I don't even smell pulsebreaker on you ever so shush with that lame excuse for a reasoning." He said bluntly. He growled and sulked a bit when she switched subjects again. Looking away again. "I could win against Joseph in other ways and times. I started out this fight so he'd win...now I want to beat him....even at the cost of Joseph's life in the end....I'm a monster." He said bitterly.


He listened to her. "Everything...her heart. Her soul. The way she laughs at the weirdest things. How willing she is to learn even despite my human age appearance. The smile she has. Her voice is hypnotic. There is so many things...it is everything. Add in she is drop dead sexy gorgeous...everything." He gave a real smile.

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Liza Saline

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:44 am

Liza felt so bad for Austin and wished there was something that she could do to help him. She realized now that as a parent it broke her heart that she could not make the pain go away. It killed her for awhile when she couldn't be with Joe, it was like her heart was tearing apart. It was hard in the beginning not to be in the same room with him and not throw her arms around him. But when she met Nate and spent time with him she started to understand what the fates were trying to tell her.

Liza walked over to Austin and placed her hand over his heart and smiled at him softly, "It hurts in the beginning, but as you see how happy she will be with your bother, the pain will fade." Liza sighed, "We will always love them, but we will be there to support them in their life." Liza smirked, "If Joseph treats her bad after this, I will be glad to hold him down so you can beat the shit out of him." Liza was trying to make Austin feel a little better.

"You see wonderful qualities in her and those will always be there. There will be another who will bring those feelings out of you again, I have seen it, it will just take time." Liza said as she kisses his cheek, "I love you and we will get through this together."
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Austin Tyler
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:43 pm

Austin blinked and realized he hadn't even noticed she'd moved him to the couch. Or that she was walking around. Getting up and started to pace back and forth again. He growled a bit. Pulling out another smoke and lit it up. He took a long inhale and wished it would work better or faster. He blew out the trail of fruit smelling smoke. Nearly jumping out of his skin as she touched his chest. Looking down where cool skin met warmth. He listened to her speak. "Pain is what tells me I'm alive. I love the pain for it tells me my corpse lived another day." He said bluntly. "Not masochistic at all...not that type of pain love...the pain reminds me I'm alive in a sense." He said simply.


"I don't care...I don't want to hurt ever again. That is story of my life from past to present. I don't want to see her happy with Joseph. I already seen it dammit! I don't f**king care!" he shouted. Thankfully Talon was out with Joseph tonight. He listene to her. Looking away. "Is that what you tell yourself Liza? Did the pain from not being with him fade yet? Did it start to fade seeing how they interact? Or did it just get worse? Be honest Liza...does it fade?" He stated as he slowly lifted his gaze. A strange fiery darkness flared in his eyes.


"Hurting...yes that fades. Losing that feeling of life you have never felt before...truly feeling alive...it doesn't fade. The memory lingers. It slowly eats away at your sanity. If I knew how alive I would feel from hanging with Talon...would I have run the other way? To end up losing that feeling of being alive in the end? On one hand I feel every minute of the life she causes me to feel is worth it. Though on the other bigger hand...I wonder if its really worth it. If I should have ignored the crying wolfess who ran into me. I wonder if I was an asshole and didn't care about her that night...would I in the end run be better off? Or is it really worth it...being devil's advocate to myself and others?"


His words held a haunting and chaos filled tone. Yet a dangerous and almost insanely calm voice spoke out. His gaze looked at her. "If love gives me life and I lose to Joseph...I never want to feel it in this form ever again. I hate that I know what it feels like and means to truly be alive." He moved his hand and formed a spectral flame in the palm. Snapping his hand shut as he continued.  The flame audibly snuffed out with a pooof sound and wisped away. "Only to have that snuffed out and stolen from me once more. It is worse than being owned by Ricardo and Avion...to know what you and everyone else has felt...then have it snatched away once more."


He backed from her and turned his back to her. "If he wins and he treats her bad there won't be any need to hold him down." He turned to face her with a dark expression. "For I will kill him on every level from spiritlands to the shells outer layers. I will kill him for destroying her. If he wins...he better never fuck up that way again." He withdrew and soon was himself again shaking more. Tears rimmed his eyes as he squeezed his eyes shut.


"No...there won't. I already met a couple of my soulmates...and the Spiritlands will never decide my fate for me. I don't care how pissy it makes them. It is my life now...whats left of it." His face fell into her chest. "Yeah...we will...but this talk hasn't convinced me to let Joseph win. To sacrifice my heart for him as I know he did for you and would for me. I don't have that strength...until Talon shows feelings for Joseph...I will NOT back down." He stated fiercely.

"You seen it huh? Heh...that is great. I enjoyed hearing that. Since your visions..." He pulled back with a twisted smirk. "...I love them better than mine because if you saw it that means I can fuck with it and make sure it doesn't happen unless its on my terms...and there won't be massive and deadly reprecussions. Heh...that makes me feel better. I'm so glad you saw it not me..." He said with a smile. "Either way...talking with you makes me feel better most times...even now...I do. Still...I can't give in and step back until Talon shows me the look she gives me in her eyes to Joseph."

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:01 pm

Liza wished she could take away the pain that Austin had inside of him and make it all better; she also wished she could take the pain away that will happen when Talon turned and fell in love with Joseph.    She knew that feeling all too well, but when you find someone new things start to change.  “I was kind of hoping that you knew that I know you’re alive, and that there is nothing wrong with you.”
 
Liza just sighed as she listened to everything that Austin was saying and even asking her.  The problem was the pain does fade and only does once you meet someone to take it away.  “You don’t want to hurt, but what do you think is going to happen when you have to let her go after getting so attached to her?”  Liza asked.  “I will always love Joe and he will always love me, at least I hope, but we both know in the long run neither of us will be happy.”  Liza said with a sigh, “But I know I can be happy with Nathaniel and Starla.”
 

Liza listened to everything else that Austin had to say and she could not help but sigh because she did not know what else to say to convince him to step back and let Joe have his chance at happiness.  To be honest Joe should have listened to Liza to begin with and they would not be in this mess.  “Well I may not agree with the way Joseph and you are handling the situation, but I guess I will be around to pick up the pieces.”
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Austin Tyler
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:31 pm

Austin looked at Liza as she spoke. He hadn't realized she was moving away. "Pffft....I know you know the shell's alive. You still don't get it so I give up explaining it. I was very clear how I'm alive but only the shell." He said in amutter. Breaking into a strew of angry native American tongues. Huffing and wiped tears away. Trying to get angry so he could wipe them away. ".........." He looked at her. "I didn't mean to...I shouldn't have talked to her that day. I should have ignored the she wolf who ran into me." he said bluntly. Tensely too. He listened to her. "I fail to see why you'd compare me to my brother. That is quite insulting." he muttered too softly to hear.

He sighed a bit. "I will hurt and I will never ever be stupid to fall again. I never intended to settle down or be exclusive." he said seriously. Listening to her speak. "I know and I'm happy for you. The points you are making aren't making me change my mind or think any different. However valid and truthful to me they are stupid and useless facts." He said. Looking down. "This firey passion and love....as you called it...clouds my vision and blocks my ears. I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose feeling alive."

He said simply. He lifted his gaze. "That is because...you are still naïve and ignorant to the way of our people. Your thinking like a white woman...not like us Natives. It just shows cultural differences will always leave discrimination and racism. The white man feels their ways and thoughts and beliefs are right nad forever and always the circle of annihilation of anyone who doesn't fit that neat little box shall continue." He said ruefully.
He looked at her. "Only pieces will be me...but there won't be many...because there wasn't much to pick up before. I will never stop being there for Talon even as a friend."

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:51 am

Liza sighed but decided that she was not going to comment any more about Austin's shell because it was apparent that once again he was listening, but not listening. "So you are regretting meeting Talon, did you know before you met her who she was?" Liza asked. "Did she know who you were beforw she met you?" Liza wondered, but even if Austin didn't understand what she was teying to explain, that was the main questions.

"I wasn't comparing Joe and you, because I know all to well that the two of you are completly different." Liza said with a sigh. "I was saying that Joe and I knew we could not be happy in the long run. Can Talon be happy with you and get everything that she wants from you." Liza asked showing that she was comparing the situation not his brother.

Liza listened to Austin continue talking aboit his fewlings and she realized she had been pacing a little while they talked. She was just remembering the last time and he was mad at her. "Just because she is destined to be with your brother as his mate does not mean she would not forget about you." Liza stated, "Talon is a very loving person and will always have room in her heart and life for her." Liza hoped he understood better, but she wasn't making him choose, she would stand behind him, as she stands behind Joe.
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Tue Jul 08, 2014 3:36 am

Austin growled a bit. "Yes and no....I don't regret meetng her just letting her close." he said. His ears and tail out. ears plastered backwards against his head. He looked down. "I plead the fifth to your question." Silence then. "No...she didn't know who I was or she would have run the other f**king direction like a smart woman." he said sofly. He listened to her and turned to bury his face in her. Hiding the fact he had tears rimming his eyes. He already knew this but part of him, a huge part, didn't care. He growled and refused to answer her. Shifting to his wolf form then back to human. Shifting onto the ground and curled into a ball turning in slow motion to his wolf self with a growl that told he'd locked himself in his wolf form. His ears drooped as he listened. Nodding his head silently but was at war with himself. He couldn't explain it right because he had never had his heart racing out of his chest around anyone before.

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Mon Jul 14, 2014 12:41 am

Liza felt her heart breaking for Austin because he could tell he realling love Talon and wished he could give her want she wants. Liza noticed that his ears and tail kept coming out and when he buried himself into her shoulder she could not help but place her arms around him holding him close too her. "I am so sorry you are hurting. But no matter how Talon feels for Joe she will always love you. She would not have run from you the day she met you any more than she would run from you today." Liza tried to reassure him, "Besides you will be the best uncle to their pups, you have to help me spoil them and think of all the things you can teach them".

There wasn't must Liza could do once Austin transformed completely into his wolf form. She sighed and then transformed into her black panther form and just laid her head onto of his head and licked him a couple of time just to let him know she was there.
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Fri Jul 25, 2014 6:22 pm

Austin looked at Liza slightly then hid his face even as he listened to her. He snuffed a bit as if to say yaaaay pups. I'll teach them to do more than that. Whining a bit and curled his wolf form into her black panther form. Licking her cheek and nuzzling her more. He nipped her slightly before burrying his head where hers could rest on his but he could stay plastered into her side like a panthereon accessory. A moment later a growled out to those human yet english to her three words left his lips. Love you momma...

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Wed Aug 13, 2014 2:45 pm

It had been awhile since Liza had been in her panther form and she sighed with contentment as she laid there with Austin.  She just wanted him to feel better and know that things would get better for him and he would be happy with the person he was suppose to be happy with.  When he nipped at her she nipped back a little.

Liza could not help but snuggle a little closer when she heard him tell her he loved her, not very often did he say the words, but she always knew he did.  "I love you too, Austin.  My favorite little wolf."  She said with a lick, she always called him her little wolf only because he was younger than her it never had anything to do with anything else.
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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:04 pm

Austin looked at her as she nipped him back. Tail wagging a bit as he curled into her side. Nuzzling her and chrring loudly. "Mine. My weird cat snake woman mother." He said playfully. Purring louder and tail wagged. "One day be huge enough to ride on. The runts always turn big as adults." He said with another lick. Curling into her form tighter and laid his head on her more. "So comfy. So soft." He said contently. Tears still matting his fur but he was happy again. Quite content right here.

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PostSubject: Re: What The F**k Is Wrong With Me?! (Liza)   Tue Aug 26, 2014 10:41 pm

Liza could not help but lick Austin a little more as he curled into her. She was glad she was able to calm him down a little. of course she wished she could take away his pain, but knew that he would grown from it and it would get better.

"I believe you are softer than me, and one day you will be bigger than me." Liza sighed, "So when your bigger than me are you going to take care of me then?" She asked still licking his fur thinking he needed a bath,
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